Our loneliness kills

In this carriage between platforms, how far will you travel not to return?

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Nobody looks on a subway train. Each day our loneliness lies and kills the room where truth sits in our hearts.

Nobody looks on a subway train  – they look up and then look down.

On a subway train I find my perfect concealment for nobody looks on a subway train.

Nobody looks for the beaded cling film above my lips, or the subway-sulphur-stench, the acrid miasma of a predator in waiting.

Beads of sweat stream from my ears to my tongue, an inherited trait not unlike that of your desert lizards. Theirs built to compensate against searing heat and lack of moisture, mine the same, but with you shivering blue lipped and drenched before me, I rejoice.

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For all your awkward shivering, your smile cleaves a path towards me, its glimmer armed from a lifetime of exceeding the parochial aspirations of others. Tears undress the beat up pretty from your face, but your smile, your smile hurts people.

     ”Ten thousand and hes’s dead”, you say.

In your eyes, to survive you expect my retreat, but I stay.

In my eyes, to survive you must retreat, but you stay.

monica

 ‘I smell weird’ you say.

My tongue worms from side to side, then smothers my lips thickening in my throat.

I am these things and more” I say. 

There’s weird and there’s smell weird and there are many freaks in here, and I am all these things and more, I say.

 

 

Thanks for reading X

All images with many thanks to Pinterest.

The Friend. Fiction/Thriller/love story

Ta da’  said Connie as she smacked the bouquet the size of a mini haystack into Elvi’s nose. Monkish heads bound in black tissue jostled, their fragrance bruised, brutal, raw like the choice to leave a lover  too-hard-to-let-go.

 Oriental lilies, Elvi’s favourites -Elvi hated them on sight

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‘Thank you’, Elvi said ‘they’re gorgeous.’

How the hell did Connie find her.

Elvi’s lips jutted forward and kissed Connie, twice – a life skill over developed.

Twice, one kiss on each side of her face, keep your friends close and your enemy’s closer flickered beneath Elvi’s lashes.

‘ You shouldn’t have,’ said Elvi.

Connie drew a shallow breath, then another.

‘To be honest, I didn’t,’ she said.

When you opened the door  you looked like a Christmas puppy all eager and fluffy waiting to be loved. ‘They were here on your doorstep.

 I had to give them to you,’ she said.

‘They were on your doorstep’, the flowers quivered fresh.
Elvi pushed past Connie and squinted into the blazing sun,down the ocean road and back into town … ‘Fluffy and eager,’ she and Connie were never going to be friends.

The road was littered with the ant-trail pageantry of gleaming black 4WD’s. Expensive 4WD’s, driven by the dishevelled Nike branded army of kids who surfed every day and ate with double jointed credit cards.

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Who am I kidding, I’m looking for one 4WD, I’m looking for him.

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Elvi dragged her glazed eyes from the sunset – looking for him hurt.

Connie stood before her with narrowing eyes shutting the light retaining every detail of Elvi’s pain and escape.

Connie’s grin widened to the footsteps Elvi heard approaching behind her.

‘Jeff, long time no see stranger’,  said Connie. And she brushed past Elvi into Jeff’s arms.

‘I saw these flowers’ said Connie as her fingers danced across Elvi’s wrist and down towards the quivering stems. ‘I saw these flowers’ said Connie – the monk headed bouquet froze ‘well I told your wife here they were for her but you know I bought them for you.’ she said as she reached up and kissed him.

Jeff laughed, “Come in Connie, we’ve missed you.’ he said  Elvi felt the tenderness of his hand and turned from the shame of his love.

“Come ladies, let me fix us something sparkling’ he said.

Images from Pinterest and my picture gallery

Not one thing more captivating than involving your ‘whole-heart’ in the pursuit of your dreams.

There is not one thing more captivating than involving your ‘wholeheart’ in the pursuit of your dreams.

Its easier to live wholeheartedly when you have a tribe who support you.

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Find your tribe X

How do I find my tribe?  How will I know they are my tribe? What is my tribe?

The top five ways to find your tribe

  1. Be 100% yourself, know that you are more than enough just by being you!
  2. Step in the direction of your passions, your projects, your inspirations.
  3. Meditate, meditate, meditate. It works! In the stillness doors open for you. All you have to do is step through. And dont panic if you think you may have missed your door – doors keep opening!
  4. Fear might jump up and laugh at your tribe of one – when you begin, but just wave at fear, even smile. As you fall into the wholeness of yourself you will begin to shine. Those who are like you will have no choice but to flock and pursue you. I believe it’s true – like attracts like.
  5. Remember the things you want, want you too X

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I am grateful and astounded each day by the beautiful women I hold close and surround myself with. The women that open themselves beyond curiosity about me: the ones that crack open their vulnerabilities with passion and share.

The women of a tribe that share and live wholeheartedly. Authentic women – my kind of tribe X   Simmon Wagner – theloveauthentic

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As much as I believe in a tribe of authentic and powerful women at my back and in my arms, I love and am grateful for the beautiful men and children who rest in my arms too.

Each day hold close the members of your tribe – remembering not to hold too tight – leave space for growth and the unexpected X

Simmon Wagner – theloveauthentic

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All images with many thanks from Pinterest X